Confessions of a Reluctant Meditator, or Tips for Fitting Meditation Into Your Life

by Mahalia Freed, ND

I am delighted to tell you that I proved myself wrong this year.

In the past 12 months I have gone from a firm, “meditation is for other people” identity, to being a person who strategizes to find that time in my day.

Huge shift!

Yup, despite ‘knowing better’ via the clinical evidence I saw regularly and the clear benefits in the research, I was sure it was something I couldn’t do. I truly believed that meditation was great for other people – but not for me. I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t quiet my mind, didn’t feel “good” at it. And you know, overachievers like me, we like to be good at things right away.

In effect, I was seeking less challenge, more comfort zone.

Sound familiar?

But, why leave the comfort zone? Well, you can’t grow in the comfort zone. And I got to the point where the benefits of growth outweighed my need for the ‘safety’ of the familiar. I felt like there was more within me but I couldn’t access it. I was frustrated. And stressed out. The tools I had weren’t enough to get me where I wanted to go. And then one more person told me meditation would allow me to get there, right after I finally found the type of meditation that resonates with me (see lesson #1 below). And I tried it. And I liked it. So I did it again. And again. Interestingly, leaving the comfort zone has felt great. So much for holding ourselves back to avoid hard, painful things. In retrospect, resisting meditation was a lot more painful.

I share this in case you – unlike myself – are gifted with the ability to learn from other people’s mistakes rather than needing to make them all yourself.

I hope you find the lessons I’ve learned and the tips I’ve gathered helpful on your own journeys. Why? Because meditation IS good for you (details and evidence via this link).

My two important lessons:

1)    There is no ‘one-size fits all’ with meditation, just like there is no one magic nutritional supplement that is right for everyone. Once I realized this, I stopped trying to fit myself into someone else’s favorite kind of meditation. I found one that was right for me. As someone with a short attention span and a tendency to be “doing” all the time, Shamanic journeying fits, as it gives me a focused something to do while I am breathing and observing. I found I really liked how I felt afterwards. And I liked the gifts it brought me, each and every time. Even when I approached it metaphorically kicking and screaming. Simple – and eventually kind of addictive, in the good way.

2)    Limiting my personal growth with pronouncements like, “meditation is for other people” is only as fun as laughing at myself is later on – when I prove myself completely wrong, again. I am now resolved to limit the limiting pronouncements.

Tips for incorporating regular meditation into your already full life:

1)    Most importantly, be a seeker. Be open and find the sort of meditation practice that works for you. Is it Transcendental? Mindfulness-based stress reduction? Guided meditation? Visualization? Chanting? Shamanic journeying? One of the many specific yogic meditation practices, from Kundalini chanting and breathwork to Sahaja yoga’s mental silence? One of many Buddhist meditation practices? Walking? Sitting in nature? Prayer?

Once you’ve found something that works for you,

2)    Schedule it into your planner. Block off the time or it will get swallowed by the many important tasks and even greater number of unimportant distractions that gobble up our days. Very first thing in the morning is the most popular time to set aside time for stillness. Interesting, isn’t it? Here is the tone for the day: Calm, still, centered, grounded. When you put it like that, why don’t we all do it?

3)    If possible, create a corner in your home that is set up for meditation. Having the space ready, welcoming and comfortable removes some practical and psychological obstacles. It doesn’t have to be a separate room, though it is helpful to have a door that closes if you share your house with others.

4)    Do it together. Meditating weekly with a group can help to deepen and reinforce your home practice. Or meditate with others in your household!

5)    Modern times, modern technology. Use YouTube and other electronic resources. Seriously. Whether you are looking for guided visualization or shamanic drumming, you can find it online, for free. Use those 10 minute clips as your company or motivation if this is helpful.

6)    Be flexible about the details. At the cottage for the weekend? Meditate on the dock. Meeting cancelled? Close your office door, close your eyes and breathe into your heart centre for 10 minutes.

For more about stress management and the impact of meditation on your brain, see for instance Alice Walton’s article, Eat, Smoke, Meditate: Why Your Brain Cares How You Cope.

Ready to take stress management to the next level? Want to use meditation as a tool for getting clear as you “feel your way forward” to total health? Join us for our popular seminar, Stress 3.0: Feeling Your Way Forward to Total Health (dates under Events).

What works for you? What doesn’t? Share your meditation experiences on my facebook wall or via twitter. Change is possible, folks, and it feels good!

Action in Stillness, Stillness in Motion: Inspiration for harnessing the gifts of winter

Dr. Mahalia Freed, ND

As we sit in the depths of winter, as the days oh-so-slowly get longer, I am thinking about change and growth. I am cultivating the patience needed to await the return of the warm sun, and seeking tools to inspire and enrich continued personal evolution. Winter is often framed as something to endure while we wait for the slush to go away and the warmth of the sun’s rays to return so that we can dispense with bulky, dark winter coats, hats, scarves, mitts, and boots. However, the season offers its own gifts. Along with lovely snowscapes, it presents abundant opportunities for stillness, introspection, and inner growth.

I often tell clients and audiences at talks that the most powerful healing tool we have is between our ears. Our minds. So, let us launch into the new calendar year with intentions to better harness this tool.

What are you searching for this winter? Have you resolved to get outside more this year? To eat more veggies? To carve out time for some kind of spiritual practice? To be more present in the small moments that make up your day? What has stopped you from getting to these goals before now? Most often, it is our minds, particularly our outdated stories – the unexamined mental maps of who we are and who we can be– that get in our way. Use the tips and info below to inspire you to examine and rewrite those stories, starting now.
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Setting Intentions for the New Year

Dr. Mahalia Freed, ND

(Written and first published for January 2010)

Last New Year’s, a good friend and I spent a very long, snowy drive sharing and concretizing our intentions for 2009. It was an organic yet intentional conversation. We went back and forth, helping each other get more specific, as well as inspiring one another with our separate dreams. I wrote everything down while she drove. Sharing intentions in this way is something I truly value. Even if you do not have the same goals, this practice creates a context of support as you move through the year, giving you someone to check in with – someone who might notice if you, say, resolved to ski 3 weekends a month and haven’t been out once by March. This kind of social support can, for example, provide us with someone to talk to if we are frustrated by continuing to struggle with a relationship pattern we intend to overcome.

For example, one of the intentions we came up with – and enjoyed following through with during the year – was to cook dinner together on Sundays. The beauty of this plan is that it addressed a number of different intentions/resolutions in one: connection with friends, cooking nourishing food, and eating at home more often.

Without any plan to do so, the two of us ended up curled up together one night over the holidays, reflecting on 2009, and looking back at the intentions we articulated that day in the car, in order to see how we did with our goals. Both of us exceeded our own expectations for the changes we could accomplish, and what joy this could bring.

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The Power of Placebo

Reframing and contextualizing research on prescription antidepressants

St John's Wort in bloomDr. Mahalia Freed, ND

So, the jig is up: An international meta-analysis on prescription antidepressants conclusively found them to be as effective as placebo (Kirsch & Sapirstein 1998.) Over a decade later, the hush-up is getting frayed around the edges, as evidenced by the recent article in Newsweek, titled, “The Depressing News About Antidepressants” (http://www.newsweek.com/id/232781).

According to Kirsch’s findings, which were confirmed again in 2008, careful analysis of all eligible studies on antidepressants reveals that prescription antidepressants are clinically as effective as placebo for mild to moderate depression (Kirsch & Sapirstein 1998; Kirsch et al 2008). These findings do not mean prescription antidepressants are “not effective”, only that the placebo effect is powerful, and the drugs’ perceived effectiveness may be attributable to the power of our belief in the medicine, rather than the medicine itself.

As I have written before, your beliefs are powerful in directing your healing. Continue reading